Life as Payment
by Drarry Contributor
Summary: Harry promised to save Lucius and Draco from the Ministry. Well Harry fails. He can't stop Lucius from going to jail or even allow himself to stay with Draco as his boyfriend. So the Slytherin watches his world die one person at a time. Drarry


I knew things wouldn't be easy; after all, I'm not a fool.

I just didn't expect the world to conspire against my home, my family, my very existence. It seems almost too cruel. But I'm getting over that because I'm going to offer myself exactly what the world wants of me. If I just take it all away then… maybe the world will forgive me.

I stared at my mother's grave in front of me… but of course they would never allow her and father to be buried near each other. I frowned and looked away before standing and placing my wand to my temple with tears falling down my cheeks. "Suffer… so that they won't torture the others anymore." It's stupid and selfish… thinking that doing this will help anything but that doesn't matter… nothing matters anymore.

~.~.~.~.~.~One Year Previous~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"You're dazing… again." A voice laughed, making me look up before smiling at the familiar deep green eyes and messy black hair. The smile turned into a smirk as I reached up and flicked his forehead. He winced and moved backwards, giving me time to collect myself.

"You daze constantly and are praised for it! Don't act like it's a fault just because your boyfriend is doing the same." I spat and stood up. Brushing myself off, I walked over to the mirror to see if I had a red mark on my face from pressing my hand on it. Nothing showed up so I flashed my most brilliant smile before checking my teeth to be sure they were flawless. "So when are you going to stand up for my father? When is the court appearance anyway? They won't tell us." I said casually and blinked when I thought I saw something on my chin but it must have been a trick of the light.

"Oh." Was all Potter could say as he ran a hand through his hair and looked away. He must not be allowed to tell me.

"Well… I don't… need to know." I muttered with the saddest look I could muster as I forced my body to tremble. "What if… I lose him? What if your plea doesn't work? What if… it isn't a fair trial?" I asked softly and sniffled at the end. Harry rushed forward and hugged me tightly to him.

"It'll be tomorrow… but I don't speak up for him until two hours into the trial. They think it'll take four hours but most are sure that he won't go to prison since I'm sticking up for him. I made sure your mum didn't get sent to Azkaban, I can protect your father too." He promised and squeezed me. I nodded and held him back, burying my face into his shoulder.

I got the information I wanted but… Harry is warm, I'm not used to that, and he loves me. My friends would laugh if they heard that I really am in love with him. This was just supposed to be a joke in the beginning but things changed. Of course they did. Everyone has fallen for the Chosen One at some time or another. I glanced to the side and noticed his worried eyes and the way his lip pursed. It's hard not to love someone so kind hearted, especially when I could never be like him.

"You need to be meeting with Pansy don't you?" He asked softly causing me to nod. He grinned and pulled me to him for a light kiss then turned around and walked away. To my surprise I held my breath until he was out the door, then immediately rushed over to the fireplace and left. Malfoy Manor will always feel strange with him in it. He's too good to reside in its horrors. He could never belong here after all… and hopefully neither will I. When I arrived in Pansy's fireplace covered in soot, she smirked lightly and patted my cheek with a gloved hand before ordering me to clean myself and then scold me about public decency. I should have expected as much.

I uttered a slow cleaning spell and took the time to examine her home. It was once full of beautiful mantelpieces made of pure gold and lovely silver and bronze tapestries with the Slytherin crest. She had furniture for the sake of showing off her family's taste, and ornaments which stayed levitated in the air just for the sheer beauty of it. Now the room is bare with a simple couch and the fire filled with soot. I tried not to let my disgust and horror show as I stepped out and bowed to her graciously. She cackled and pulled me up into a tight hug that involved a bit too much groping and forcing my hands in unpleasant places.

"You're still seeing the Chosen One?" She asked, obviously having noticed my reluctance to touch her. It's funny; this badass girl with a tight revealing black dress and dark make-up… has a thing for unicorns. I first noticed it at school when she went to see the unicorn with childish glee and then again when I snuck into her room one day and saw unicorns everywhere. I frowned though, why must she always bring up Harry?

"Yes, of course." I nodded slowly, trying to understand why she had asked me in the first place. That's when I noticed her narrowed eyes and trembling hands. Ah, she doesn't trust him. It's hard for us to trust anyone who offers to fix our problems after all. He's offered to stand up for all of my friends and try to let us keep as much as possible even though the Ministry wants to take all we have. It helps that almost all of the Death Eaters that the Dark Lord acquired were rich. Now… we're slowly losing all we have.

"He's not good for you darling." She sighed and took a sip of wine; I glanced over at her wearily but then forced myself to control my annoyance. That wine is cheap after all… she's trying to keep up appearances and act like nothing's wrong. Pansy is still stunned that her looks and influence hasn't gotten her out of the court appearance, it has before and now that her charm and beauty stopped working… she's become as insecure and cruel as she was back in school.

"How is he not good for me?" I questioned, trying to maintain the patience in my voice and keep the pity from my eyes. She huffed and then looked down, letting me see the soft edges of her cruel mask. I frowned in surprise but before I could say anything she looked up at me so quickly her black dress swayed from the movement.

"He's going to hurt you, he's going to use you, and worst of all… he's going to _disappoint_… No one is perfect, Draco." Pansy murmured causing me to nod slowly but it was taking effort. If anything it'll be the other way around. I can't be with someone as good as Potter anyway, but he wants us to work and of course I want us to work… so we're going to work. I can go to hell and back for Harry James Potter. I really can.

"Honestly, I don't give a damn if he does all that and more." I said with a perfectly placed smirk and then ran a hand through my blond hair. My lips pursed but I doubt she noticed as she turned away and took another sip of her glass.

"Fine. Do whatever you want, Draco Malfoy, but when it all goes down in flames don't come to me… because I won't be here." I nodded and turned around, trying to remember why I thought about her love of unicorns during a time like this. The innocence of our past does not belong here any longer. I was a fool to even think about it. Theo will have my head when he finds out I upset his poor little Pansy. He'll do it slyly though and in a way that I won't even realize its revenge. Conniving bastard.

~.~.~.~.~.~One Week Later~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"What did you just say?" I whispered softly, my smile threatening to break. Potter was looking everywhere but at me which only made matters worse. He's Harry Fucking Potter; this isn't supposed to happen… it isn't. Pansy couldn't be right! He can't possibly disappoint me no matter how hard he tries! That's the way our relationship works! I'm supposed to be the only one screwing us over! Not him! Not the Saint!

"Your father is going to Azkaban and won't get out until they bury the body." He said so softly I had to strain my ears to hear but… it can't be true. I had to have misheard; the world couldn't possibly hate us that much that they wouldn't even listen to their savior! He defended him! That should have been enough! Harry said it would be enough!

"Why? Couldn't you do something! Did you not show up? Were you late? Did he say or do something? Please tell me this wasn't your influence can help him… please tell me your influence can save him… please Harry… this is all I'm asking of you." I whispered as I sunk to my knees. My body trembled but it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it can't matter, there is no way this is happening.

"I'm so sorry! My standing wasn't enough… and no one wanted him around because everyone had their own horror stories and scars. I'm no match for memories." He murmured and held onto me tightly. Getting up suddenly I forced myself away from him.

"My mother," I whispered and then turned around and ran out of his stupid house on its stupid Muggle street and the stupid traffic that won't help me get there! But it doesn't matter! Nothing matters anymore… but she has nothing. I have friends and Harry but she has absolutely nothing but me and her husband and now he's gone and I might be next and… and I need to find her!

My body was ice even though it was in the middle of summer where England is always unbearably hot. That just shows that this is… important… she could be in real danger. Stopping I placed a hand against my forehead in shock. Apparate. Of course, I should have thought of that earlier. Damn, just where has my head got to? I laughed dryly and pulled out my wand then placed it against myself.

I can't blame Harry, he just couldn't help… but I need to do all that I can… because I'm all that we've got left, and I think I just might die. When I arrived at the Manor I was immediately hugged tightly against my mother as she rocked me back and forth. Water fell on my blond locks easily but I ignored the urge to fix it and move away. I'm a Malfoy; my duty is to my family, the Malfoy name, the Malfoy fortunes, and the Malfoy pride. I will not leave this house until my mother is well.

~.~.~.~.~.~One Month Later~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Parkinson's whole family has been sent to Azkaban. Apparently that girl, Pansy, the one you went to school with… she killed herself." My mother mused while sipping her tea in the dining room. Our furniture has been selling itself, just like how the Parkinson's had. Mother pretends not to notice but I do… and… closing my eyes I tried to control my breathing. "She was such a pretty pureblood girl… what a waste."

I glared at the wall then. "You can't go around saying things like that; if you do then they'll take you away like they took away father." I said quickly and took a long drink of my coffee. It's bland, and cheap, just like everything else here, but at least we still have a single house elf to do all this for us. Harry would have laughed at the irony or maybe he would have cried. I don't really know. I haven't seen him for a month and have ignored all his letters. He sends three a day, I thought for sure that they would lessen over time but to my… reluctant happiness, they haven't.

"They are punishing everyone with the slightest link to a Death Eater, so I can say as I will since sooner or later I will be joining your father." She smiled making me frown.

Lucius Malfoy died two weeks after being in Azkaban. I heard that they've been much more brutal to their prisoners. The high score of a survivor is a month, I'm just happy father lasted as long as he did. Those two weeks gave mother hope, but yet again it's been stripped away.

"Two people very close to me have died in two weeks." I said softly and swallowed the rest of the gunk. Mother watched me with calculating eyes.

"Pansy is the one you said you were considering marrying in your fourth year, correct?" She asked causing me to nod slowly, not sure where she is taking this. "I thought so. You always did have proper taste, just like your father." Her blond hair covered her eyes for a moment but when she looked up again, her eyes were bright. "Do you think he misses us? Do you think he needs me?"

"No… mother! I think he misses us dearly but… you can't join him just yet, okay?" I asked swiftly and took away the newspaper that was casually lying beside her. Her eyes widened and then dulled like she had lost all reason to like me in just that one moment. Pansy… did a brave thing. She didn't want to give them the honor of taking away her dignity and her pride so she killed herself, and Theo was probably with her as she did it, but this is different. My mother is… different. She's losing her mind and herself. I don't know what to do… My hands laid themselves on the wood of the table. There was always a cloth or two covering this but now… now it seems as though we can't even afford to keep that. It's sad. We're losing everything and now my mother wants to lose the most precious thing she has… her life.

"You are a very selfish boy." She spat and stood up swiftly before throwing her tea cup across the room. The elf caught it easily knowing that if it shattered then we wouldn't be able to sell it if we need to.

"I know I am." I replied in a loud strong voice. She paused then and turned to me before giving me the smile that used to always make me happier as a child.

"Good boy," Narcissa whispered before leaving my life for good.

~.~.~.~.~.~Two Weeks Later~.~.~.~.~.~.

Pansy's funeral was full of people, far too many. None of them looked sad, except for her parents, Theo, and his dad. Everyone else, who bothered to come, was once tormented by her. I noticed Angelina Johnson off to the side laughing with her friend Katie Bell. I walked over to Theo's side, noticing he looks scrawnier than normal but just as tall as ever. "She was beautiful… the day she died. I could tell that she had been thinking about the past too much and thinking of herself as pug faced but that's not true. She's the most beautiful thing in the world." Theo murmured softly and held himself tight.

This isn't his first death. He was there when his mother died, but he doesn't talk about that much, although his relationship with his father hasn't been the same since. I don't blame him. I'd be upset too if I saw my mom die while my father picked being a Death Eater to protect her. It isn't right. I think he realized that too, because after the battle at Hogwarts he, against all odds, became a healer. It's his sly cunning and charm that helped him, but I must admit I'm jealous. Against all odds he became somebody… but in return he lost Pansy.

"Her name… means remembrance, also memory. Did you know that?" He whispered softly as though in a trance. I said nothing but that was alright since he seemed to have no intention to stop talking. "Pansy is also a flower that is a main and important ingredient in all kinds of love potions… the more pansies there are… the stronger it is." I closed my eyes tightly and tried to ignore the pain in my chest. She's gone, she's really gone. "I'm sorry about your mother." Theo murmured and turned to me with his dark eyes and somber expression. "Was it quick?"

I nodded but I knew that he was thinking about how long and painful it was for Pansy. My mother… used the killing curse on herself. She thought it would be a fitting end. I found her the next day, holding a picture of the three of us together and happy. It was an old photo, obviously, but it was one that we all cherished and kept with us at all times. The Ministry wouldn't let father take his to Azkaban.

"They won't let us forget and move on… they have to torture us more." I whispered harshly and turned around just as people began spitting on Pansy's grave. It will probably be a similar event next week when my mother is buried. I can't come to witness that…

"If she were here… she'd be laughing, calling them pathetic. They could only do this when she's dead after all. Remember that. They could only spit on you when you're dead." Theo isn't talking to me anymore. I can tell… I don't want to be here for that though. I can't be here for him when he breaks.

Turning around I walked away just as I saw a flash of poison green eyes and messy black hair. Of course he'd be here. Placing my wand against my chest I then Apparated away from here at once, because I think another person I care about is going to kill himself.

~.~.~.~.~.~One Weeks Later~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"As you know, our numbers are dwindling…" Daphne started with a firm voice as she held her sister's hand tightly in her own. It's true, but much worse when someone who can figure out a solution to something when everyone has looked everywhere, along with having just the right resources for any occasion… doesn't seem to have one this time. Astoria's eyes were downcast but I knew it was to hide the fact that she'd been crying. "Maybe if we go up to the Ministry, snap our wands in half and then go live in the Muggle world… maybe they'll leave us alone." She whispered, her voice actually breaking.

"We'll find a way to get through this! I know we will!" Astoria said darkly and then looked up so I could see her steely gaze. She's going to make herself worse off if she does what it appears she's considering to do. All that dark magic in that pretty little head of hers won't help out. We're in a different world now… threats will get us sent to Azkaban, going out in public will be a series of sneers and fighting back tears, and our love lives… have died.

"Blaise was sent to Azkaban… they didn't give him enough time to kill himself so he's stuck there… being abused and tortured and probably raped." Daphne informed us with a blank tone. I noticed her hands trembling as she tried to smooth out her white dress. She's using glamour to make it look much prettier and expensive than it is. So… this is what we have come to. Isn't it just terrible? But the terrible can be beautiful in its horror.

"Stop it." Astoria demanded, gripping hold of her pride as though it's all she has left. Looking around the Muggle café I nodded, that is all she has left. Her short black night dress would typically bring shame to her family but right now she's wearing it proudly. For some reason Astoria is much stronger than Daphne at the moment… how tragic. "We can't just mope! We have to take this head on and prove ourselves! Theo proved himself!" She cried, gaining the attention of several others around us.

"Yes, but Theo lost Pansy. Now he has nothing, the boy is even living on the streets now." Daphne spat and took hold of the cheap coffee before drinking it all in one long gulp. Daphne and Pansy were best friends in school and it was her who made sure that Pansy had all the latest gossip and much more. They were inseparable until Blaise drove them apart. But then Pansy fell for Theo, oddly enough, and allowed her best friend to take Blaise. They loved each other always though… even when fighting over some boy. Daphne is much more upset than she's allowing us to see.

"It's really just the three of us… isn't it? Theo isn't going to last long… three days at the most. What are we going to do?" Astoria asked weakly as a single tear slipped down her cheek like a silent goodbye. Daphne and I didn't answer, we weren't meant to. Our group has been shrinking in just a matter of a couple months! What will happen later on..? "None of us can commit suicide. We need to make this unbreakable vow, we can only commit suicide if we are going to Azkaban but if not… then we can't." She declared with eyes full of determination and hatred.

We took hold of each other's hands as Astoria took out her wand. This is really happening; we are seriously driven to such desperate measures… I smirked lightly and discovered that there were a couple more ways to get out of this than just the Azkaban thing she was thinking of.

Harry Potter.

Closing my eyes I agreed and allowed the unbreakable vow to own me.

~.~.~.~.~.~Three Days Later~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"He did it." I said softly staring at the newest Prophet tabloid. Theo had gone to my mother's funeral and put a never ending flame on her gravestone that read out, 'the ministry stole my husband, and in the end my life.' It was kind of him… in a way, but then he began to fight off the Aurors who tried to stop him and in the end he died. So it really is just Daphne, Astoria, and I.

"Another letter from Harry Potter, sir," My house elf murmured. I don't really need one in such a small flat, but he insisted on staying with me, even as the Ministry tried to take him away. I took the letter, not destroying it this time causing the elf to look at me oddly. "It's been almost a month and a half since you have read one of his letters, sir. Would you like me to give them to you immediately now?" He asked, causing me to send him away in annoyance. A part of me was warming up… knowing that Harry hasn't given up on me yet.

Ever since I was eleven, there was this famous git who was always there to suspect me of some heinous crime or another but he was always there. He always saw me. He always knew that I was a threat. Now I'm like a kicked dog whose losing everything, but it's not quite good enough for the Ministry. Suicide, Azkaban, and desperation are taking everyone I ever cared about. But Harry Potter isn't going anywhere, so I should hold onto him while I can. Astoria and Daphne aren't reliable enough to trust them to keep themselves safe… and what if something happens to me too?

Ripping the letter open violently I began to read the contents with a wide smile on my face, but as the words reached me that smile slowly faded until I was crying. Malfoy's never cry, they never show weakness, they never allow themselves to fall. We've already fallen, we've already shown weakness, I should have cried then... if we've already sunk so low.

Tossing the letter on the ground I covered my eyes with my arm as I fell to my knees and sobbed. No way in hell. There is no way in hell that this is happening!

_Dear Malfoy,_

_You won't ever reply will you? That doesn't matter I guess, I'll keep sending you letters, you stubborn prat. But this letter is more than just stubbornness. You know how I've been telling you that Ginny and I have been connecting recently? I asked her to marry me._

_I know it's crazy; you would probably call it 'completely Gryffindor' of me. I loved her back in school but that was right before the war where everyone was depending on me. I love her though, I really do, but I still love you too. I always will. I just couldn't wait forever… and I'm sorry about that. I tried to be there for you and I know you know that, but you wouldn't let me and life moves on, with or without you. I learned that the hard way._

_I've enclosed an invitation to the wedding if you want to come. I had to fight Ron on it but I made it so that you could be my best man if you want to. I won't stop sending you letters, I'll never stop, because I'm still waiting (like an idiot) for the day you'll reply._

_With all my love,_

_Harry Potter_

~.~.~.~.~.~The Present ~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Glancing down at my wedding ring I tried to ignore the feeling that it symbolizes a cage. Instead I focused on the fact that I'm nearing the graveyard where Narcissa, Pansy, and Theo were buried. Draco is probably at home dying alone right now but he would never allow me to try to cheer him up, or even be a part of his life. I know that now. Glancing into the graveyard I was shocked to see a bit of blond hair and a large black cloak. I ran through the gates and came up to a boy who looked a little too much like Draco. But he can't be, because Draco doesn't cry.

The boy's eyes were red and swollen but he kept crying with a deep look of pain on his face, his arms hung limply on his sides like getting ready to make a snow angel. It just made him look vulnerable. "What can I do?" I asked immediately but he just glanced over at me slowly and then looked away as though undeserving of even glancing at me.

"The world hates me… everyone hates me… just let me die." Draco croaked. Yes… it's Draco Malfoy. His voice, that hair, and those deep grey eyes… it's all him. Of course it is. "I did it… I was able to punish myself more than anyone else could ever dream of doing." He murmured making my eyes widen as I checked his body for injuries.

"What did you do?" I demanded angrily. My hands trembled as black strands of hair hung in front of my eyes. Something is wrong… my hands pressed down roughly on a twig, so hard that it broke my skin. "Tell me what the hell you did!" I shouted angrily. He smiled at me but it was too broken for me to look at for long.

"I took them away… I took all of them away, so I only have this now." He murmured and pulled himself up with such a dark look I was scared he'd either kill himself instantly or try to kill me. Fighting an Auror will get him a one way ticket to Azkaban, even without his past. "All my happy or decent memories are gone. I'm only left with the bad." He smirked at me as though pleased with himself when just a few seconds earlier he was dying on the ground with tears streaming down his face.

My eyes widened even more than they had before but that's when he turned away with his hands behind his back. "My father was sent to Azkaban, he died but they wouldn't let us give him a proper burial or even tell us where he was buried, Pansy (my best friend) killed herself to avoid Azkaban, my mother followed her example, Theo went on a suicide mission to make a point at my mother's funeral and was killed, and right when I decide to reach out to you… I find out you want me to be your best man at your wedding. I waited a few months to see if I could punish myself enough without going to such drastic measures… but then I couldn't wait anymore. Astoria got sick. She got really sick… and she died."

He said it all casually as though this were a normal conversation… which means he's going crazy. He has to be… constant emotional changes, the casual remarks about the worst things that could ever happen happening to him… he's got to be crazy… but it can't be… it can't be my fault. There is no way this is my fault!

When I stared at Draco again I noticed his shoulders trembling, making my eyes widen as I moved forward and enveloped him in my arms. "I'm going to fix you… everything will be okay." I promised softly and ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm him down.

"No you won't… because you never forced me to grow up." Draco argued meekly. I kissed the top of his head and looked down at my wedding band. I'm willing to give up everything for him. I just hope he'll give me the chance to make this right.

So we can have a happily ever after in this place called reality.


End file.
